It's been two weeks since my last post. During this time, my wife and I have decided that despite the intense amount of stress and we have been under, we would do our best to avoid sending our daughter back to a facility. It is easy to throw your hands up and say, let's send her back. Believe me, I have been at that point several times in the past month. My wife and I have decided that we want her to be safe and under our roof so that we can provide a safe environment and show her that we love her.
It has been difficult these past few weeks. I have withheld my immediate reaction to situations that have upset me and just tried my best to remain calm. My wife is better at communicating with our daughter than I am, so as long as she is holding her own, I can avoid any excess input. Our daughter has had several individual therapy sessions since returning home from her stay at the cool down facility. That, in conjunction with some adjustment to her medications seem to be making some progress. We still receive opposition daily regarding school work, bedtime, following basic rules, etc. My wife and I would agree that when an outburst does arise, the duration of the event is less than it has been previously. My wife and I also try to communicate with one another prior to taking any action or making any decisions to be sure that we are both on the same page.
Last Saturday night (the night before mother's day) our daughter waited until bedtime to start an argument. We have learned through our research and our BPD support group that bedtime is when many children with disorder start arguments. Our daughter picked a few topics that she knew were well known facts and decided to try and get us to modify things to benefit her. When we told her that we would not budge on those topics, she walked out the front door at 9:25PM. I went out to the porch after her and she was nowhere to be found. I went back in to grab a flashlight before heading out to look for her. My wife was on the phone with her mother letting her know that had left again.
As I began searching our property, I turned back and found her hiding in a area behind the house. She began screaming at me to stop shining the flashlight at her. She finally headed back to the front of the house where she began screaming at my wife. I was extremely frustrated and began injecting myself into the conversation they were having. I knew that I was not helping the situation and finally went inside. The two of them continued arguing for approximately 30 minutes before coming in and both going to bed. My wife and I were exhausted and went to bed.
The morning of Mothers Day, she got up and went to church with us, as if nothing at all happened the prior evening. We had a good day and little to no conflict. I thank God that He is moving in her life and that so many people are praying for us all.
Lord, thank you for keeping your hand on our family. Help us to look to you for direction and wisdom each day. Thank you for bringing our daughter home safely. Lord, renew our strength each day to press onward. I thank you for your blessings. In Jesus name, Amen.