Last night we received a call from our daughter and she said things were going ok. She said that the other girls still hated her and she was tired of only being allowed to eat finger foods. We talked for a bit and when she was told that her time was up, she screamed at a staff member in the background and said she was getting off the phone. We told her that we loved her, but she just said goodbye and hung up. I decided to email the facility clinical administrator to see why she had not yet had a therapy session and ask about the continued restriction on eating utensils.
This morning, I received an email back with the therapist copied in the email who would be scheduling our Family Session. I emailed the therapist back to get a definitive time. A short while later, I received an email back with some available times for the video session. I chose the first available, which was 2;30 pm today. We weren't sure what the process was, but we were eager to see our daughter, even if only by video.
While waiting on the call, my wife and I purchased a few books recommended by a local doctor on Borderline Personality Disorder, which was her diagnosis. The book is "Stop Walking on Eggshells" by Randi Kreger. The website is stopwalkingoneggshells.com We have learned that BPD can not be treated with medication, but instead is treated using intense therapy. We have just begun reading the book, but already see many similarities with our daughters behavior. We are a little overwhelmed when reading the many stories of people with this diagnosis. We have a long road ahead of us and will need the support and prayers of our family and friends. There is so much to learn about living with someone who has this diagnosis. We are willing to learn all we can and participate in family counseling to be able to make things as peaceful as possible. We have purchased a few books and signed up for some BPD support groups online.
When 2:30 pm rolled around, we waited anxiously for the video session to begin. At first, the therapist came on and our daughter was not yet in the room. She told us how the session would be conducted and what we could expect. She told us that our daughter had in fact met with a therapist last week. She also told us that our daughter was still on finger foods because of her statements of contemplating cutting and suicide. She said once they were confident that those thoughts had subsided, she would be allowed to have regular food and use utensils.
When she called our daughter into the room, we were a little surprised. She still had green hair, which we thought would have been faded out by now. Her hair was short, like a pixie cut, she was wearing a black beanie and appeared to have black makeup around her eyes. We did not send her a beanie, or makeup, or the shirt she was wearing. This was typical of our daughter, giving away her clothes and taking other kids clothes.
During the session, our daughter engaged more than we thought she would and answered questions. She told the therapist that we parented all of our kids differently and she didn't think it was fair. She was able to recognize the reasons and behaviors that led to her being in the residential facility. She also said that there is a lot of arguing between all of us. The therapist asked us if we have established set of rules in our home, we said yes. She asked us to send her a list of those rules so that she could go over them with our daughter to determine which ones she felt were unfair and talk through them. We agreed to send the list and follow up the next morning. She said that there would be one family session per week, as well as an individual session. At the end of the session, we told our daughter we loved her and she just said goodbye.
My wife and I will continue to learn what we can about Borderline Personality Disorder in preparation of our daughter coming home. We love our daughter and want to do our part to make things better.
Lord, thank you for allowing us to see our daughter today. Thank you for allowing us to have a good discussion with the therapist and make some progress. Lord, help us to all work through the issues that cause conflict in our home. Help us to grow closer through this difficult time. Thank you for taking care of our daughter and keeping her safe. In Jesus name, Amen.