God is still on the throne
A lot has happened in the past week. There were a few incidents at the facility where our daughter is currently staying. One involved her climbing on the roof of the facility. Since she was too afraid to climb back down, the police and fire department were called. The following day, she was involved in a physical altercation, which we learned was started by the other child. Again, the police were called. She was upset that the police officer spoke harshly to her, which was in part due to the fact that he was the same officer that responded to both incidents. We explained to her that when you repeatedly have negative contact with law enforcement, you will likely be seen as the problem, even though you may be innocent.
My wife and I had been planning a trip out of town for my doctor appointment. The day prior, we had to go to the local facility to drop our daughters meds. She asked if we could take her to grab something to eat while we were there. We decided to take her to the drive through and have a quick meal together. During our visit, there were some issues we learned about where she had broken some rules. These were rules that she was well aware of, but chose to break them anyway. We explained to her that if she wanted another chance to return home, instead of going back to a residential facility, she needed to be able to follow rules. We dropped her back at the facility and told her we loved her and would see her soon.
The next day, we travelled to Alabama for some doctor appointments I had. I was there to have an MRI of my brain to compare it to my brain scan from last April. Due to an incident with my vision and previous lesions on my brain, the doctor wanted to see if there was any change in the past year. After having the MRI and returning to the hotel, I received a call from the doctor. It was after 5pm, so I had a feeling it wasn't good news. He told me that the MRI had revealed several new lesions that were consistent with Multiple Sclerosis. He had previously been on the fence about making an official diagnosis because the medication has some bad side effects and he wanted to be sure before starting treatment. He said that this new MRI confirmed it, I have Multiple Sclerosis.
He gave me a list of meds to research and said he would be available if I had any questions. We recently learned that many of the medications on the list aren't covered by my insurance and are very expensive.
After receiving the call from the doctor Monday, I felt like someone had sucker punched me and knocked the wind out of me. I felt a heaviness fall on my shoulders, but I stuffed that down deep inside. My family needs me to be strong and provide for them. I will do whatever it takes to be there for them and take care of them.
Lord, I am here at your feet. I need your strength, love and wisdom. Lord, help me to be strong when I feel at my weakest. Help me to lead, when I myself need direction. As I sit here overwhelmed with the trials before me, I know that you are the only one who can help me. I surrender everything, I can do nothing without you. Lord, work through me. In Jesus name, Amen.