Sunday we had a "Family Session" via video with our daughter and a therapist from the facility. During the call, the therapist wanted to address some of our family rules that our daughter told her she had a problem with. The first rule was in reference to clothing. Our daughter feels that at age 14, she can wear whatever she wants. She does not have the mental maturity to understand why dressing in a provocative manner is dangerous. She thinks that she should be able to wear a skirt, combat boots, shredded panty hose with a shirt cut to expose her stomach. During the session, she became very angry and lashed out at us. The therapist immediately told her that she was acting in a very aggressive manner and that my wife and I should not feel obligated to reply to her when she acts like that. She also lied and said that she never calls my wife and I "retards" and tells us that we "need to grow a brain". These are things that occur often in our home and we are mentally exhausted from dealing with it. She also tried to say that she should be able to stay outside when she is angry, and wander between our property and the neighbors yard, even when it is late at night. The call went on for an hour, during which time we told our daughter and the therapist that we had scheduled local therapy sessions for her as required in the pre-discharge instructions. We also informed the therapist that we had purchased an electric razor and shaving gel, since the Safety Plan states she can not have access to razors. The call went well over all, with the therapist acting as a mediator. After an hours, the call was over.
A few hours later, our daughter called us for her evening call. She immediately asked about the therapy session we had scheduled upon her arrival home. She said that the therapy was stupid and she didn't want to go. She also asked why she couldn't shave with a razor when she got home. We told her that the Safety Plan forbid her having access to a razor. She said that was stupid and said we could let her use a razor and they would never know. We told her that we would follow the rules, as instructed by the therapist. She became very angry and the call ended shortly after that. It seemed as though she was acting just like she was prior to the start of this entire process.
I immediately called the therapist and left a voicemail for her to call us. I also emailed her with our concerns regarding the call we had received from our daughter. She did not contact us on Sunday. This morning, the therapist called my wife. We explained our concerns and asked her how we should handle things if our daughter refused to do what was required of her. She said that if she became a danger to herself or us, we would need to call law enforcement. She said other than that, we really had no tools available to us. She said that we need to make our daughter aware of the consequences of her actions, and to let those consequences play out if she breaks the rules. She said that we need to stick to the safety plan. She said we also need to remind her that returning to a residential care facility could be a possibility based on her actions, but to do so in a loving way and not in a threatening manner.
Our plan was to travel to Georgia on April 10th since our daughters discharge date was the 11th. I had just finished booking a hotel today when i received an email from that facility. They advised me that my insurance company would only cover our daughters care until April 8th, therefore, she would be discharged on the 9th. We are waiting for definite confirmation of the new discharge date to adjust our travel plans.
Lord, I know that you are in full control of this situation. Please give us peace about our daughter returning home. We want her home with us, but we don't want any chaos. Lord, help us to control our anger and our reaction to her behavior. Help us work together as a team to do what is best for our child. Lord, please give us strength and wisdom in navigating this situation. In Jesus name, Amen.