Posted in Dads

GRATITUDE!

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After several years of praying and trying To have another child, the sweet (and surreal) moment finally came when our second boy joined our family of three, now making us “the four best friends that anybody can have!”

It was not the easiest delivery, but also not the hardest (in my wife’s words.) Our new son came into the world without any real issues during the delivery (again, in my wife’s words.)

Very much like the moment I met my first son, I was overwhelmed with emotion when our new little baby finally made his way out . . . and I lost it . . . with ugly face tears!

It’s strange because I thought I would cry. . . I was fully expecting to cry. . . But when I did cry, it Took me by surprise! . . . Just like I was taken by surprise with my first son’s birth. . . . . . But their was a very clear distinction between these two crying experiences.

For my first son I was overwhelmed with a sense of AWE!

AWE that there really was a life if my wife’s belly that whole time. AWE in the beautifully messy miracle of childbirth. AWE in my wife for what she had just done. And AWE for the reality that I was all of a sudden a dad . . . Just like that . . . And that this little life was counting on me for his survival.

For my second boy I was overwhelmed with a sense of GRATITUDE!

GRATITUDE that he had come out safely. GRATITUDE that my wife was also safe. And GRATITUDE that after all that we had been through during the previous three years, (infertility, tears, anger, miscarriages, heartache, peace, joy) God had given us another child and grown our family.

We we’re now a family of four. And are filled to the brim with GRATTITUDE for it.😌🙏🏻❤

 

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Posted in Dads

Optimistic

Here are some more thoughts I wrote back in August about the pregnancy. . . Much love!!!❤️

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August 2016

In my last entry I shared about my struggle with being hopeful but not necessarily optimistic (or pessimistic) about the development and life expectancy of our new baby.

So it’s well past 3 months now and we have both finally been able to really get excited about the baby. . . We know that it is a boy. . .We have shared the great news with our four year old son Holden, who is soooo dang excited to be a big brother and have a little brother! (But we’ll see how he feels after little brother actually arrives.😉) We’ve shared the happy news with our family and friends. . . We’ve picked out a few names we love. . . We’ve started to get the nursery ready. . . We’ve even bought him his first outfit.

We’ve always been really hopeful that everything is ultimately going to be ok but our hopefulness is now about the dreams that we have for this little life as we prepare to welcome him into the world. . . as well as the impact that he is going to have on our first son.

We’re very excited…very hopeful…and very optimistic of what’s to come.🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻❤️

Posted in Dads

Hopeful

My wife is several months pregnant with our second child (a boy!) and we are obviously so dang grateful and excited!!!🙏🏻❤️

The following was something that I wrote several months ago but could not share at that time for obvious reasons. As always, I hope it can be an encouragement, or support to anyone that reads it.

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May 2016

Recently Kate and I found out that she’s pregnant again and we’re both super excited! . . . But I’m also pretty tempered in my excitement.

We’ve been excited before only to be sad and devastated days later at the news of the baby not surviving.

I’m definitely happy that there is new life forming and living in my wife’s belly. . . But it’s honestly hard to be optimistic that this life will continue to grow and flourish. . . It’s not that I’m hopeless – because I am very hopeful – but there has been so much unknown. . . so much that we’ve realized we can’t control . . . so much we’ve learned about just how much of a miracle a pregnancy really is . . . and the reality that we’ve lost two babies in the last two pregnancies . . . I’m not gonna be pessimistic and expect the “worst”. . . but it’s also so difficult to do the complete opposite and expect the “best” to happen.

But instead I’m hopeful

Hopeful that no matter what happens, it’s going to be ok. . . and that God will be in the middle of it all. . . and that it will all be used for good. So many “good” things have come from the painful experiences that we’ve gone through these last few years and I believe that even more good will continue for years to come.

I would be lying if I said I wasn’t desperately hoping that this baby lives a long and full life. . . But I’m also honest with myself when I say that I’m not quite ready to start dreaming of baby names and what color to paint the nursery yet.
. . . We’ll wait and see.😌🙏🏻

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Posted in Dads

the Foster /Adopt Journey begins

In the years leading up to our marriage, my wife and I have always envisioned that we would have more than one child, if not even more . . . so as we’ve tried really hard for the last few years for baby number two – with little success –  God has began to open our eyes and show us both very clearly to begin steps in the foster-to-adopt process . . . and simply see what could happen.

I’ve always been very open to and excited about the idea of adoption . . .  Even in my single years, that lasted well into my thirties, I always believed that if I never ended up married – a notion that I was pretty fine with – I would most likely try to adopt children and raise them as a single parent. I figured that having one caring father would be far better than having no parents at all, right?

So as we we’ve been unsuccessful these past few years the idea of adopting was very present in my mind . . . But it wasn’t really the same thinking for my wife. . . And I don’t blame her.

As I said earlier , she has always felt like she would have several children naturally . . .  and because of that, she really wanted to continue to focus her hope and energy on trying for another child naturally. . .

It was like considering the adoption path would make our inability to have another child naturally . . . more final. . . It wouldn’t be like we were giving up on trying . . . but rather that we were accepting the reality that it just might not be in God’s plan for us.

But after time, a switch flipped in my my wife’s thinking almost immediately . . . That’s her story to share . . . but I will just say that one day she was not really ready to go there yet . . . And the next day she was giving me all the information that she called and searched for about the foster/adopt process.

So we were now on this exciting new journey, filling out the proper paperwork, talking to close friends about their foster/adopt experiences, and we’ve just completed our 29 hours of training . . . The only thing we have left to do is our home inspections and personal interviews!

We don’t know exactly what’s in store for us, but we’re both very excited and prayerful to see how we might be used to shower a child/children with love for a short time while their parents are trying to get healthy . . .  or possibly, . . .  How we might eventually welcome one of them into our family for good .

We’ll see! 🙏🏻