This Dads Journey

Mixed emotions

Now that our daughter has turned 16, we have 24 months until she turns 18 and leaves home. We know that she will most likely leave home as soon as she is of age. This presents two emotions for me. The first, is the anticipation that the last of my

T-Minus 24 Months

We are one week from age 16. We have made great progress over the past year in communication and how we respond to negative behavior. Some of the negative behavior has been typical teenager rebellion and some more related to Borderline Personality Disorder. It seems that no matter how much

Navigating difficult times

It has been two months since we picked our daughter up from the residential facility. The first month was great; we were all getting along and she acted responsibly. She was respectful, and sympathetic, abiding by the plan we all agreed upon for her coming home. She was cleaning up

Homecoming

It has been 135 days since we brought our daughter to the facility for residential treatment. We have all grown in the past 19 weeks and learned new ways to communicate and react to situations properly. We have all participated actively in family sessions and benefited from the exercises. Tomorrow

Nearing discharge

I just realized it has been two months since my last post. During that time, our entire family has been seeking counseling. Our daughter has been making great progress while in the the treatment facility and we have been seeking out counseling locally. Over the past 4 months that our

Hopeful beginnings

Our daughter has now been in a treatment facility for 66 days. Things started out a little bumpy and her behavior was not affording her any privileges. She would have a day or two of good behavior, then have an outburst, which would start her back to the beginning of

On the right path

Last Monday started with my wife and I making call after call regarding the medical coverage for our daughter, we made little progress. We could not get anyone at the facility to confirm that they had submitted the claim required by the insurance company. I admit I was getting frustrated,

Missed deadline

On Friday morning, I recieved a phone call from the Tennessee Department of Child Services telling me our daughter had been assigned a healthcare provider. She advised me that it was United Healthcare, which was good because they had a contract with the residential facility. We were still not able

God is the great way maker

Over the past several weeks, we have emailed and called countless people to advocate for our daughter. These are just a few of the places we have spoken with over the past two weeks. * Residential Care Facility * Florida Simply Health Behavioral Health Case Manager III * Blue Cross Blue Shield Appeals

Down to the wire

Last week, we spent all day Thursday and Friday making call after call. Since we have exhausted the BCBS appeals process, the next step is to provide the Florida insurance team with a copy of the updated "Treatment Plan" as well as the clinical notes from the current facility for

Appeals and Grievance's

Over the past few weeks, our daughter has had some medication changes. We also have had some positive family sessions by video and made some progress in our communication skills. In last weeks family session we completed some exercises on communication, facilitated by our daughters therapist.   My wife and I

Appeal denied

This past Monday, I filed an appeal with Blue Cross and Blue Shield. My argument was that we be reimbursed the 32 days that our daughter was in the Atlanta facility. While in Atlanta, our daughter did not received adequate therapy due to the facility being short staffed. We were

Mental health care is broken

My wife and I have learned more about mental health in the past 4 months than we have learned our entire lives. We have joined a support group with hundreds of other parents all over the country. Many of these parents have been caring for their BPD children for several

Safe travel and new hope

Yesterday was a bit of a whirlwind. First thing in the morning, we received a call from the acute facility in Pensacola. The doctor told me that we needed to come and pick up our daughter. We had been told previously that since we lived 3 hours away, we would

Long-term care in sight

Last Friday, the day after our daughter ran away and cut herself to the point she was transported to the hospital by EMS, our daughter was transported to Pensacola, FL. She was admitted to a mental health hospital there and we were told she would be there for 3-5 days.

Shouting from the rooftops

In my last update, I shared that our daughter was confined in a juvenile detention facility for 21 days. We have learned new information regarding incidents that occurred leading up the her setting fire to her mattress while in a behavioral facility. I will not go into details about these

A dangerous path

At the writing of my last post, our daughter was on the streets once again, wandering without a healthy fear of what could happen to her. On the following morning, after our daughter had run away, we received information that our daughter had called law enforcement to "turn herself in"

Enough is enough

Well, in my last update, we were making some slow and steady progress. We have had several more weeks of therapy and shorter durations of chaotic events. Things have went down hill since then. Last Thursday, our daughter manipulated her brother into letting her use his phone to call a

Slow and steady progress

It's been two weeks since my last post. During this time, my wife and I have decided that despite the intense amount of stress and we have been under, we would do our best to avoid sending our daughter back to a facility. It is easy to throw your hands

Mental Health Obstacles

Parenting a child with Borderline Personality Disorder is extremely difficult. My wife and I have been reading, learning and seeking help from professional therapists. It requires that we learn a totally different way to communicate with our child. We also need to do the best we can to balance the

God is still on the throne

A lot has happened in the past week. There were a few incidents at the facility where our daughter is currently staying. One involved her climbing on the roof of the facility. Since she was too afraid to climb back down, the police and fire department were called. The following

Actions have consequences

On Easter Sunday, our daughter chose to go to a short-term cool down facility for runaway teens instead of remaining in our home. She was asked by the DCF investigator if she wanted to go to a local facility for 21 days, she said "Hell yes!". Two hours after arriving

Mentally exhausted

Last night, my wife was at the store getting food for Easter dinner. I was home with my daughter. She was looking through the refrigerator and cabinets for something to eat. She then said, "I need the phone to call mom and tell her to get me some food" I

Different day, same routine

Our days are becoming somewhat of a routine. Throughout the day there are outbursts of disrespect and screaming. Then each night, between 8:30 pm and 9:00 pm our daughter will storm into our bedroom while my wife is trying to sleep, just to start a fight. Last night,

Lord, help me remain calm

Today started ok, our daughter woke around 10 am, while my wife and son were at the store. She ate breakfast, took a shower and had to be reminded to start her school work. I told her that she needed to complete all 4 core subjects and she questioned why.